Happy Valentines Day!

Isn't that gonna chip a tooth?

Love Is...advertising for sex on a toilet wall

Today is the day where couples are forced to be romantic whilst the rest of us wallow in depression over how we're all gonna be alone for the rest of our lives. But no matter how long I'm single, I can be safe in the knowledge that I will never advertise for sex on a public toilet wall. Some recent favourites of mine have been:

Married couple wanted, 7-8" cock, no weirdos, mine is only a 4".

Now, first and foremost, at what stage in a marriage does a couple decide they need a 4" cock to spice up their marriage? And second of all, "no weirdos"? I think, by advertising on the wall of a toilet cubicle, you're going to have to deal with your fair share of weirdos. Something this next one is more than happy with...

I am from Gorebridge and I love strange cock! Call [...]

There's not much I can really say to that, presumably Gorebridge (Just outside of Edinburgh) can be quite lacking in the strange cock department.

Love Is...Freema Agyeman being back on the telly

Last night saw Torchwood return to the quality of the opening first two episodes and then some. The first story, focusing on an alien with the power to create memories was a great character piece for the whole team, shedding a bit of light on Captain Jack's past and adding a little bit to the 'I found Gray' arc. Not only that but they managed to make old Zippy (Owen) likeable after 18 episodes. Martha Jones returned to our screens in the following episode in a story about Jim Robinson from Neighbours curing the worlds ills by exploiting aliens, much like the old Torchwood from the end of Doctor Who series 2. Freema shone, as a much more grown up version of Martha who's going to have to stick around a little bit longer after the shocking events of the last couple of minutes. Great stuff and I just hope they can keep it up.

Love Is...Masterchef

By far the most watchable cookery show (Kitchen Nightmares is in a league of its own), Masterchef reaches it's last quarter final this week, before moving on to next weeks semis. It's all rather exciting, can't decide whether to root for the girl who cooks raher complicated, some might say pretentious dishes because I fancy her, or the female police officer who actually made Gregg Wallace cry.

So Happy Valentines Day, I'm spending it alone...hand me those phone numbers will you?