"I don't need this job..."

Things not to say in a job interview! No, this isn't from popular US gameshow Jeopardy but something uttered by airy-fairy aromatherapist risk assessor Lucinda in this weeks The Apprentice.


I didn't actually get to see the episode until Saturday, hence scenes reminiscent of the classic Likely Lads episode in which the lads attempt to avoid hearing the result of a football game before they go home and watch the highlights. Opened The Sun and narrowly avoided the summary of the episode, though my eyes were drawn to a picture of Lucinda setting off alarm bells instantly, my gran almost spilt the beans and my mate let slip that Sir Al only fires one person. Odds firmly stacked against me, (including a tricky rebuilding of my mums PC, an uncooperative internet connection, and some iPlayer problems.) I sat down to watch the always entertaining job interview episode. As ever, Sir Alans trusted advisors grilled the teams over the space of one day in a gruelling interview session. (Think that's gruelling? They clearly haven't been to a Sainsburys Induction!)

Don't you just want to suck the lips off him?

I love these guys though, and the scenes they have reporting back on the candidates in the boardroom with Nick, Margaret and Sir Alan should be a series all on its own. So, what interesting gems did the interviewers dredge up, well:

British born Alex claims being fluent in English is a skill. I'd argue with this, but looking at the current run of celebs (And indeed Sir Alan and Lee McQueen...sorry, cheap shot) who barely have a grasp of the language he may indeed be on to something.

Lee McQueen lied about his time at University. Instead of taking 2 years to walk out on his degree he did so after only 4 months....right, why even bother putting it down that you didn't acheive the degree? Sir Alan seems to have no problem with a lack of University education at all.

Clare used to be a club-rep. She says there's no embarassing photos or videos of her time in this debauched profession. Having seen her in a bikini I am eternally grateful for this.

Helene "wants to dive into the ocean of opportunity..." 'Nuff said.

I think we also learnt that after 4 years, Sir Alan has finally lost his marbles. Nick and Margaret are clearly keeping the company going whilst their boss increasingly turns into a dribbling dementia riddled mess. Traditionally speaking, the final 5 is reduced to 2 in the interview episode but this time, Sir Alan, probably forgetting to take his medication, fired just the one, Lucinda because, no doubt he wasn't sure about her commitment to the job, that and she was too zany for him. Given his decisions this year, I dread to think how zany that is. Given that next weeks task pits Clare and Lee against Alex and Helene with the losing team being fired and the strongest member of the winning team being hired, I think it's an entirely pointless exercise as we'd probably have a Clare/Lee final anyway. Unless he's going to lose it altogether and hire both of them....wish I hadn't said that now.

would you hire this man?