E!

Whilst Torchwood and Primeval both continue to excite and entertain, and even though Ross Kemp gets shot at on Monday, there's no real TV programmes I feel like writing a whole blog post about until the return of the Gene Genie in Ashes to Ashes next week. I would write about episode 4 of The Wire and it's absolutely shocking ending. ("Close your eyes [name removed for spoiler avoidance]) But I don't wanna spoil it. So I'm going to turn my hand to showbiz reporter! Oh yes, multi-skilled that's me!

The first and most shocking news story of the week was the death of actor Heath Ledger at the age of 28. Whilst not being a massive fan, I was momentarily stunned by the news. But I'm not going to write some sycophantic join the dots report like pretty much every single person with a laptop, internet connection or fucking newspaper column and talk about how great he was, or how sad it is that drugs have claimed the life of an actor, and how sad it is a 2 year old's lost her father. Mainly, because it'd be hypocritical, I don't really like his films. Brokeback Mountain was probably the only one I enjoyed, so it was of great shock to me to read this week that God himself didn't like it! Yes, those lovely Christians from Louis Theroux's The Most Hated Family in America will be picketing Ledger's funeral because of his portrayal of a gay cowboy. Apparently God thought Brokeback was "a sordid tacky bucket of slime, seasoned with vomit" I have heard however, that he thinks White Chicks is an "all round enjoyable romp." I think there's untapped potential in movie poster quotes from God Almighty. Anyway, Heath Ledger, very sad, Christian Idiots, The Joker, drug deaths, etc. Actually if we have a celebrity drug death (which still isn't confirmed in Ledgers case) could it be Amy Winehouse or Pete Doherty? That, coupled with God's opinions on movies appearing in a public forum would convert me to Christianity.

Just a quick cheap shot at the collapse of the sham marriage between Ashley Cole and Cheryl Tweedy...I find it interesting that they've broken up because he cheated on her with another woman, really not the way I foresaw that marriage ending.

And finally, I see Scarlett Johansson is doing an album of Tom Waits covers. I wonder if she'll do one of my favourite songs; Way Down In The Hole. I wouldn't mind being way down in her hole! Fnarr fnarr...I'll get my coat.