"... a lot of Italian restaurants in Guildford!"

Thank god for Doctor who because if it wasn't on, I'd just be watching shows about food!

Yup, even The Apprentice got in on the act this week with a culinary challenge. Sir Alan set the teams a challenge of running a themed evening and choosing a menu for a London pub. The girls team decided on a Bollywood theme, serving curry and, as far as I could fathom, hiring a tiny Indian stripper.

Gooooooo Renaissance! Er...yeah, right.

The boys, on the other hand decided on an Italian theme...and well...oh christ. Kevin took the job of Head Chef and served bolognese and pizza....well, I say bolognese, it was really just spaghetti, water and mince. And I say pizza, but it was only half a pizza. I suppose that's what happens when you get your ingredients from fucking Tesco. The boys lost the challenge (Quelle surprise) and team leader Ian was promptly fired. I have a suspicion that my personal favourite; Simon (who I called Michael for the whole of last week!) is going to be team leader for next weeks photo task, seeing as he wants to prove to Sir Alan that he's more than just a "get your hands dirty" sort of guy. Hope he succeeds, and I hope we get more from Raef!

Isn't 24 getting dull these days?

For our main course, (See what I did there?) we have Hells Kitchen. This week saw Gordon dump a lorry load of "wasted ingredients" in the carpark and have our contestants wade through it, before having them filet a hallibut, then having the losing team make fish stock. And shout a lot. I do miss Ramsay swearing uncensored, but hey, it's great to see him lose the plot every coupld of minutes. Anyways, the boys team won the filet challenge and were rewarded with a gay cruise. Or at least that's what it looked like...I mean what the fuck is Jean-Phillipe wearing?

Permission to come aboard? Fnar-fnar

So then it was back to the kitchen, and still the teams can't cope with the pressure of a professional kitchen...(or is that Masterchef?) seeing Ramsay "Shut it down!" just after the beginning of serving the entrees. So this week we've had mashed up fish, people wading around in rotten food, a gay cruise and Ramsay surprising everyone with his choice of who should "take off their jacket and leave Hells Kitchen." Oh, and we had a customer beat around the head with a chair. Can't wait to see next week.

And so we come to dessert, with a lovely little treat that used to be tucked away on Channel 4's daytime telly schedule before Countdown. Come Dine with Me sees 4 people cook for each other over the course of a week in order to win money. The new, primetime version kicked off with a celebrity version...well, a bloke from G4, Tamara Beckwith, Harvey off of So Solid Crew and some singer woman. It's entertaining, mainly for Dave Lambs narration, and the thinly veiled bitchiness that comes out in the course of the dinner parties, I'm sure the "normal people" version will be a lot more entertaining when it starts next Thursday at 8. That said, Harvey's first encounter with an all vegetable menu, and his attempts to teach the dinner party ghetto speak was pretty funny.

So yeah, food glorious food and all that, I'm currently searching for another show that doesn't revolve around cooking, I'm trying out Chuck but so far, I'm not impressed.