"I'd understand if she was drying her eyes over being dumped for a Cheeky Girl"

Tissues are wonderful items to have around the house, they're good for blowing your nose, dabbing the tears from your eyes and wiping away unwanted stains....unfortunately they didn't wipe away that odious streak of piss Michael in this weeks Apprentice.

Yes it was the always entertaining advertising task, every series of The Apprentice has had one, and every time some silly sausage forgets to really specify what it is they're advertising! So by now, in its 4th year, someone would have learned from this. Clearly Alex has, because his advert practically forced the message down your throat, much like he might do with a lady.....what? All I'm saying is he looks like a selfish lover. Anyway, Alex's advertising campaign for Atishu (Props to Lee McQueen for a genuinely good name) and box design came across like some sort of fluorescent hallucinogenic nightmare, but because it featured a shot of the horrific dayglo box (below) and patronised fuck out of the audience ("Tissues! Tissues! I'm advertising tissues! Tissues!") they won.

Ever thought what it feels like to be stabbed in the eyes?

Raef was the one responsible for not learning from the mistakes of others as he directed a heartwarming advert about, to quote Helene; 'The relationship between a mother and son, between a boy and a girl and between us and our tissues...." I'm sorry, what? Is this something to do with the discussion Clare and Raef had about another use for tissues in this deleted scene? Still, utterly ridiculous that statement may have been, it was still a damned sight better than Lee McQueen's stumbling delivery.

The advert, featuring actual tissues and, bizarrely, weathergirl Sian Lloyd. I'm still completely flummoxed by Raef's choice to hire her to advertise "I Love My Tissues". (Shit name...) She was pretty dreadful, but Raef's nervousness about meeting her was heartwarming.

Unfortunately it had a distinct lack of box, right up until the band at bottom of the screen at the end....in their defence I thought it pretty bleeding obvious that it was a box of tissues (And a damned sight classier looking box of tissues.) they were advertising. But Sir Alan was not happy. "Ah dunno wot yer advert's abaht!" he exclaimed, I suspect he has no love for the Cadburys gorilla. Michael (Former male escort allegedly, see here.) was on Raef's team...so surely he couldn't have been taken into the boardroom cos he'd have got fired right?

I mean Sir Alan said last week that he'd had enough of him...no, the stupid cockney cunt fired Raef, because he's "all hot air" and is only lucky that "you've only been here once." Bull-fucking-shit. Sorry Sir Alan, I like you and all that, but Raef proved himself as a fantastic team leader in the laundry task, and has been complicit in the big successes of Lucinda last week and Lee the week before. So exactly how does that make him full of hot air? The main problem with the ad was a lack of the product, fair does but Michael was the one most vocal on removing the shot of the box in the first place. In, I think the third time this series I think Sir Alan has made a mistake, but fuck it, he's richer and more powerful than I am. My main worry with Michael is that a similar thing happened with last years winner Simon Ambrose, granted he was a much more likeable figure, but he fucked up a couple of times and Sir Alan kept him on, and eventually gave him the job...surely he's not about to do it again?