"I've reached the end of my rope with you..."

"...whimper...sniffle...whimper...don't fire me..." Prick

I don't know what the fuck Sir Alan sees in "Good Jewish Boy" Michael Sophocles, but he's safe again. A snivelling, odious, monotonous whinging plea to Sir Alan seemed to save his good jewish arse for another week, claiming he could be team leader next week and prove himself. And I hope to fucking god Sir Alan sees sense and fires the slimy little scumbag. Anyway, that's enough vitriol for just now, let's take a look at the task shall we?

This week saw the teams sell wedding dresses at the big wedding fair at the Birmingham NEC. And whilst not being nearly as exciting, or as downright bewildering as last weeks Marrakesh jolly, it did provide some great moments. Such as....

Bear with me...

Raef dressed as a bear in a rather odd move to try and shift more wedding night lingerie...right, not sure I get the strategy, but rather that than having Raef parade around in a sexy nightie. Or is it?

Lucinda was team leader this week, deciding to take Raef's gamble of the expensive designer dresses (2 grand a pop! Crikey!) and snatched the wedding night lingerie off of Helene's team as a result, primarily because I think the woman didn't want to have anything to do with the company providing Helene's wedding dresses.

In what was perhaps the most bizarre marketing strategy ever (though it did the trick for Helene) a woman selling coloured wedding dresses (Cos let's face it. How many virgins are in those virginal white wedding dresses these days?) said "Jordan and Jodie Marsh have had similar dresses and everyone wants to be a celebrity." I don't know much about women, but I'm prrretty sure they don't want to be done up like a tabloid slapper on their wedding day.

As a result of losing the lingerie (not literally thank christ.) Helene was forced to go with the wedding cake option, which provided some of the most cringeworthy scenes in Apprentice history as Sara and the aforementioned odious prick Michael practically tried to browbeat people into buying their wedding cake. (which were...er...more expensive than the dresses they were selling...nice one!)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Lucinda's team won with a profit of just under six grand (they only sold 2 dresses, gutted Helene.) and Sara was fired from Helene's team, somewhat unfairly in my opinion, but there you go. Hopefully next week will be Michaels undoing in my favourite task of the year, the advertising task! And Raef gets nervous about meeting Sian Lloyd. Seriously.